Date: Fri, 18 Aug 2000 12:03:52 -0700
Subject: Re: Handling grief as a balloonist 
From: "John M. Holmes" <bloonman@airmail.net>
To: balloon@balloonhq.com

Pop artists,

I once was asked to do a kid's funeral. Talk about being at a loss for
words. I declined as gracefully as I could and went to my car and
cried. Would you believe that the mother, on her way to her car, saw
me sitting there crying and offered me comfort? I wished that I had
known then what I know now. I would have done the funeral...and for
free, too ! ! !

Not long after that I was in a clowning class given by Jackie
"Lollibells" Garner and she taught us how anyone could do a kid's
funeral. I cried during the class as she told of how she ministered(It
ain't just a religious word, folks)to a bunch of kids and helped
them to deal with their grief.

The crux of it is that you take two clusters of helium filled round
balloons; one of pink balloons & ribbons and the other of blue. Also
bring one solitary white helium balloon & ribbon to represent the 
lost little one. If you are ever askedto do a kid's funeral, you will 
most likely have known the child that passed away and therefore 
you will find it somewhat easier to find something of a personal 
nature to add to this(I hate to use the word)"routine". 

After or during your personal time with the kids, you hand out 
all of the balloons but the white one; pink to the girls & blue to 
the boys. Encourage the kids to keep their balloons for a special 
graveside ceremony for "just us kids"(I really like that, just US
kids). 
Some may say that they aren't going the graveyard. Tell them what 
the rest of you will be doing when you get there and let them decide 
later what they want to do.

When you have all the kids gathered at the grave site, tell them that
this white balloon represents "Davey"(the name of the little boy whose
funeral I begged out of doing) and that he is no longer actually in
that box, just his body. "He's gone on and we need to let him go just
as I am letting this white balloon go. Some of your hearts are hurting
and maybe you don't want to let him go or don't know how. Well, we
grown-ups don't know how to either sometimes.". Let the white balloon
go. "Each of you has a balloon all your very own and you can either
let it go to travel along with Davey's balloon,", as you point toward
the white balloon floating away, "or you can keep it, if you want to,
and maybe later, when you're by yourself and ready, you can let your
balloon go too.".  Look up and say something like, "Good bye, Davey.
I'll 
miss you.".

'Nuff said?

As I said, I wish I knew then what I know now. Until or if I am ever
honored with the request of being with the kids at a kid's funeral
again, I can only imagine what the sight of one lone white balloon, 
rising, followed by a dozen or so pink and blue ones will do to my
heart. 

I am torn between wanting to know and never having to find out. If
ever asked again, the answer has changed to, "Yes, I will come".

John, The Balloon Man