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Entertainer Issues

These little bags of wind have taken me all over the world, allowed me to express my creative and artistic talents, entertained myself and my clients, brought me many, many new friends AND paid the bills along the way.
- Chris Horne

Being An Entertainer

Entertaining Styles

Good vs. bad entertainers?

Entertaining and Crowd Control

Speed Twisting: Entertainer or Balloon Factory?

In regards to speed twisting, I would like to ask the group, when doing balloons for a paid party, do you spend a certain amount of time with each child as you make the balloon? In other words, do you allocate say two minutes per child, so that you can make each child a little bit special? Reason being is that some of my clients seem to want only quanity (ok, 50 kids, each one gets a balloon and do it in a hour). I try to explain that people enjoy seeing me make the balloons, and I try to spend at least some time with each child, if not just to ask them their names, age, etc.

Performance Anxiety

Talking To Kids

Blue Material

Video Taping Your Show

The Top 18 Signs You've Hired the Wrong Clown for Your Child's Party

18. By the end of the party, he's got every damn kid doing the "pull my finger" trick.
17. Clown car must be started with breathalizer device.
16. Keeps screaming, "My name's not BO-zo, it's bo-ZO!"
15. References to Kierkegaard and Nietzsche are lost on most 5-year olds.
14. Props for his "disappearing" trick: a moving van and your wide-screen TV.
13. Scares the holy hell outta the kids during the "Severed Limb" trick.
12. Tells the kids he killed Barney in a blood match in Newark.
11. Didn't bring any balloons, but manages to twist your dachshund into other animal shapes.
10. Prefaces each trick with, "here's a little number I learned in the joint."
9. Not exactly the Peewee Herman impression you were expecting.
8. Wears a T-Shirt that says, "Drug-free since March!"
7. More interested in squirting seltzer into his Scotch than into his pants.
6. Those huge ears look too darn life-like, and the entire act consists of showing charts and complaining about the deficit.
5. A sad clown is one thing -- a clown who spends the entire party with a gun to his temple is another thing entirely.
4. Only balloon animals he can make are a snake and a "snake on acid."
3. Business cards include the phrase "From the Mind of Stephen King..."
2. Price list includes "lap dance" and "around the world."

and the Number 1 Sign You've Hired the Wrong Clown for Your Child's Party...

1. All the balloon animals are ribbed and lubricated.

MB 2/12/96
MB 6/12/97
SMB 8/13/99
SMB 9/24/00
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