Description: I hit a dinosaur once. I was driving my van in Oak Brook, IL outside of Chicago and I hit a dinosaur during a snowstorm so I tied him to the roof of my van. And I'm driving along highway, but what I didn't realize was, that I hadn’t killed the dinosaur, but hit him just enough to knock him unconscious. So I'm driving with a live dinosaur on my van. The dinosaur is signaling for a turn, you know. There's a law in Illinois against driving with a conscious dinosaur on your van, Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. And I'm very panicky, and then it hits me: some friends of mine are having a balloon twisters convention at the Marriott Oak Brook Resort. I'll go, I'll take the dinosaur. I'll ditch him at the convention.
It wouldn't be my responsibility.
So I arrive at the hotel and go in to the convention registration desk. The dinosaur is next to me. Jay comes to the window. I say ‘Hello. You know the Solomon’s.” I buy the dinosaur a day pass and we enter the convention. The dinosaur mingles. Did very well. Scored. Two guys were trying to teach him a Tac weave for an hour and a half. Twelve o'clock comes - they give out prizes for the best costume of the night. First price goes to the Berkowitz’s, a married couple dressed as a dinosaur. The dinosaur comes in second. The dinosaur is furious. He and the Berkowitz’s lock talons in the middle of the jam room. They knock each other unconscious. Now, I figured, is my chance. I grab the dinosaur, strap him onto my van, and shoot back to the roads, but - I got the Berkowitz’s. So I'm driving along with two Jewish people on my van, and there's a law in Illinois that on... Tuesdays, Thursdays and especially Saturday…
The following morning the Berkowitz’s wake up in the woods, in a dinosaur suit. Mr. Berkowitz is shot, stuffed and mounted at the Chicago Athletic Club, and the joke is on them, because it’s restricted.
(Adapted from "The Moose" by Woody Allen)
Photo ID: 77951
Photographer: Randy Zacks
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Multi non round Balloon
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